Sara’s empowering, ecstatic home birth

Sara shares her story of her “empowering, ecstatic and pain-free” posterior home birth to her daughter.

She says she hopes her story will inspire other women to question what they’ve been told about birth, advocate for themselves and have the birth they dream of.

About Sara and bub

·        Sara: A 40-year old, second-time mum

·        Bub: Big posterior baby (4.16kg). An “IVF miracle”

Birth place

Home, supported by an independent midwife (Janine O’Brien), husband and doula.

Birth type

·        Homebirth

·        Second birth

·        Water birth

·        Active labour roughly one hour.

How did you feel after your birth?

“I felt like it was a dream come true. I was beaming and laughing, and so in awe and in love. Everyone in the room had tears in their eyes and there was so much love in the air.”

Sara’s birth story

Beginnings

Early one morning, Sara woke up to moderate ‘tightenings’ that were enough to make her need to breathe consciously. “But once I was up and with my then four-year old and thinking about my to-do list, they died down,” she says.

“I stopped to assess where I might be and why the tightenings were fizzling out. I thought about birthing cats that find a quiet spot for birth and I wondered if the 'busyness of life' was getting in the way for me.” To help this, Sara put an eye mask on and lay on her couch to relax.

She says when her husband called the midwife at 5pm, Sara was in denial about being in labour. But half an hour later, Sara’s contractions were five minutes apart and her midwife “called the troops in”. “At that point, my contractions were totally manageable,” Sara says. “Interestingly, my contractions stayed at five minutes apart the entire labour.”

Middle stages

Sara says at about 7pm she felt the need to go to slow and go within. She’d been using a TENS machine she said “worked a treat” and up until then had been chatting to everyone and breathing and stretching through contractions.

When her midwife suggested getting in the birth pool, she felt hesitant. “It was so light outside and I felt watched and exposed,” she said.  Sara also wasn't sure she was in labour and says it was hard to get into the trance-like state she had during her first birth. But when she got in the pool, she says it felt amazing.

Throughout the birth, Sara says she had been drawing strength from her birth affirmation cards, but at that point she really needed the three custom cards she had created that said:

·         "Different body, different baby”

·         "My body stretches like a rubber band"

·        "I am huge."

She says she stared at them and started pep-talking herself just like she imagined a boxing coach would do in a boxing ring motivating his student. She said she told herself:  "Come on, it's time to let go," "It's now or never," and "release."

Later labour

In the later stages of labour, Sara gripped her birth pool and stretched as much as possible to relieve the contractions and says primal sounds took over her. She started bearing down and says she was shocked and didn’t know where it came from or what position she was “supposed to be in”. Her midwife reminded her to do "whatever feels right."

“The pressure in my bum was intense,” Sara says, so she pulled knees together quickly like her midwife, Janine, had told her @midwifethinking says protects the perineum. “My hand went there to slow my daughter down,” Sara says.

With so much intense pressure building, Sara started panicking and yelling “no, no, no”. But after a big “pop”, her waters broke and she felt a huge relief.

After another contraction, Sara says the “crowning burn” feeling happened and she thought "I hate this. I want out,” but her son, who was watching, said: "I can see her head, mummy” and before Sara knew it, her daughter’s head was out in her hand.

“I was so relieved and it all felt easy from there. There was a break and I realised my daughter was turning inside of me - It was the most incredible feeling I have ever felt.

“As my daughter moved over my G spot briefly, I felt joy and ecstatic. It was the most amazing feeling. I kept thinking ‘this is not how birth should be …for me’, because the only thing I've known in terms of birth was my son being pulled from me in a medical emergency.”

Sara says when she reached down between her legs to grab her daughter as she was born, she realised that she was about to get the water birth experience she’d only ever seen on Instagram and that she was recreating the moment she’d visualised for months.

“I birthed a big posterior baby with no real pain – it was such an ecstatic birth to heal my first birth experience,” Sara says.

You can read Sara’s full birth story on her website.

What tools/support did you use during birth?

•           A TENS machine - It made the contractions feel like muscle cramps, but manageable.

•           Movement

•           Water

•           My affirmation cards

•           My birthing team.

What was challenging during your birth?

Sara says there was a point in her birth where she thought she wasn’t progressing and needed to work through her fears and past trauma to move forward.

“I thought I wasn’t progressing and then my husband and son came over and gave me a huge cuddle and my midwife said, "you're safe, Sara", and I lost it and started sobbing.”

Sara said she realised she had to give birth to her baby and she was scared. “I was scared because of my past birth trauma. I was afraid of the pain. I was scared of doing the tricky bit.” She said she knew she’d “reached the foot of the mountain and was in a bit of mourning over her first birth” and needed to release the fear and all the stored emotions she had carried the last five years. “I just let all the emotions out and a sudden and unexpected guttural sound emerged,” she says.

Sara says she felt like another woman had turned up and gently pushed her aside, saying "I'll take it from here." Despite this, Sara says it was hard for her to stop her “analytical brain from clinging and trying to take control”. She says: “I was scared of tearing again, pubic pain like my last birth and bleeding (because I lost a so much blood the first time).”

 Key things you think are important for birth

•           Having a supportive birth team – for before, during and after birth

•           Education

•           Bodywork and optimal maternal positioning

•           Positive thinking to overcome challenges.