Lisa’s positive homebirth story
Mama of two, Lisa, shares her story of her second birth in the water at home that she descries as “a supportive, exciting, (semi) calm whirlwind.”
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How would your describe your birth overall in a few words? I felt incredibly powerful and connected to my family (and all womenkind) after my second birthing experience.
Top things you did to prepare for/have a positive birth
I read books and did much more research during my second pregnancy than my first - I thought I was prepared the first time around, but I didn’t feel as calm in control as I’d have liked, and knowledge is power, so I delved deep second time around!
One of the most important things for me was learning exactly what is happening in the body physically and hormonally at each stage of labour, and what to expect at each stage, as well as truly understanding what the physiological pain means for what my body is doing, and understanding that the pain is normal and actually helpful as opposed to be something to fear.
I learned a lot about how to stay calm and create a supportive social environment, as well as a low-lit peaceful physical environment to birth in where I could feel in control.
My late-stage move from hospital care to a private midwife was absolutely key in reframing my pregnancy and birth experience - I’m not anti-hospitals, but I found connecting with an experienced private midwife with an intervention-only-as-necessary approach was so important.
Understanding the power in having a solid supportive team of women around me during birth was revolutionary to me. I’d thought it romantic to have only my husband and a midwife with me the first time - now I consider that to be more naïve than romantic - my husband was incredibly supportive through both births, but the two close female friends I had present at my second birth made me feel like I was connected to a beautiful community of women who have been birthing since the beginning of time, and made me feel so powerful and supported.
I had my birth team write affirmations on cards that I displayed on a pin-board in my birth space - I can't say I read them during labour, but having read them prior, I carried those sentiments and reminders with me, and they were an incredible keepsake from the day.
I also had a birth details template printed out with my baby's name on it, so that before everyone left that night, we filled out the time and weight and other details, and got everyone to sign it and write a message, so that I could recall all the details that were a bit of a blur. This is a lovely keepsake!
Birth story
My second birth was a supportive, exciting, (semi-)calm whirlwind, where I gratefully felt like I maintained control.
My first contraction was around 4pm after a nap and it ramped up quickly enough that I lost the ability to keep setting up my birth space. Thankfully, I’d notified everyone and they arrived at various points and helped get the pool and other things (music, fairy lights, affirmations board) set up while I sat plonked on a yoga ball in the middle of everything.
I thought I’d want to move around this time, but once the trance hit, I found it impossible to move anywhere and could only communicate via the shortest of sentences between contractions (eg “heat this up!”). I was conscious of not wanting to sounds too demanding, but couldn't get more words out.
My favourite thing about the whole birth was that my 3.5-year-old son was with me the whole time, genuinely helping set up the pool, sweetly holding my hand and patting my back, and watching on with gorgeous curiosity as his brother was born. It really was the most special moments of my life to have that experience with him as well as my husband all together.
I felt like I was going to bed to push soon, so I got in the pool and the urge came almost immediately. I struggled with this part a bit - pushing is so satisfying, but it felt like I just couldn't get there each time, so I started to get a bit scared (I'd pushed for over an hour during my first birth, ending in a naïve but emphatic agreement to an episiotomy which was so painful during healing).
I was on all fours, but my midwife recommended I lift one leg to a kneeling position to open the pelvis, and low and behold, baby Oliver was born shortly after. It was just over 3 hours from first contraction to birth. I loved feeling respected and cared for, and informed the whole time. Being in control kept me (mostly) calm - I was certainly outwardly calm, but internally was still a bit anxious at times. I loved the family cuddles while I was still in the pool, and the triumphant air in the room.
It was a beautiful bonding experience - I feel so proud of it!